Have you ever been asked your opinion about something, and you had one, but you needed to be sure it would be taken the right way?

So you watered it down, added some euphemisms to soften the implied criticism, filtered out anything that might trigger, offend, or be misconstrued, and tried to come across as moderate and as neutral as possible

By the time you articulated your opinion, it was no longer really your opinion.

It was a version you thought they wanted to hear.

It was a version that helped you feel safe.

It was curated to please all and offend none.

I know this because I have done this.

Even when I became aware that I was doing it, I could not NOT do it.

It felt too risky to “just” say what I thought.

It is only in the last 12 months that I have become much better at saying what I mean and what I feel, and letting go of the need to please, placate, and gain approval.

When you’ve been conditioned to act a certain way for decades, it almost becomes a part of your identity, and you don’t know how to BE any different.

Your brain comprehends at the intellectual level, but your body and your unconscious mind (the real driver of behaviour) resist.

So no progress is made.

If you want real change, it has to come from within, from your identity and self-worth.

You have to believe that …

• It is safe to express yourself.
• It is safe to speak your truth.
• It is safe for you to be seen and heard.