I had a virtual coffee with a new connection recently.

It’s something I enjoy doing and that I find meaningful, as I get to know the human behind the connection request or online comment.

My connection shared what had made them hesitate for a really long time before hitting Publish on their first LinkedIn post.

It’s the same affliction we all face: Impostor Syndrome.

What it looks like in case you’re new to the term:

Crippling self-doubt that keeps you from saying yes to invitations, opportunities and divine nudges.

You’re too busy being in awe of the other seemingly more successful individuals in the room and thinking to yourself:

What am I doing here?

I don’t belong in this room.

I’m not qualified / successful / influential enough.

They’re going to find out I’m a fraud and kick me out.

Interestingly enough, even the people we deem as successful admit to suffering impostor syndrome.

“I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.” — civil rights activist, author, poet and Nobel Laureate Maya Angelou

“No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’ – actor Tom Hanks

I have found this to be true at every stage of life.

From getting into law school, to representing clients in court, to making the first of my career pivots, to becoming a mum, starting a business, and having now been on the path of coaching and mentoring for 12 years…

Impostor Syndrome still has a way of showing up every time I’m contemplating …

Doing something new and unfamiliar (“Don’t!)

Doing something risky (“You’ll lose everything!”)

Doing something that sounds even a little woo-woo (“What for???”)

Doing something outside my competency zone (“People will judge you! You’ll look like an idiot!”)

I have learned that the best way to deal with impostor syndrome is to acknowledge that voice of criticism

BUT

as Liz Gilbert writes in Big Magic, to not let it take the driver’s seat.

Because you see, I still get to choose.

And I choose to take responsibility rather than continue to play small.

I choose to speak to audiences, even when being in the spotlight makes me tremble with performance anxiety and evaluation judgment.

I choose to post, even if my following is small and not a lot of people comment.

I choose to chase my divine nudges, even if they fizzle out in the end.

I will find a way to make magic happen.

I will somehow gather the resources, allies, collaborators and inspiration I need to get ‘the thing’ done, and to the highest standards.

If I want to keep learning and growing into my truest and highest self for the rest of my life, then I have to accept that dealing with impostor syndrome is part of the price to pay.

But I don’t have to let it stop me from following my path.

I will step around it – and I will keep going. xx